Week 8

Hard to believe we’re in the second half of the FF season already. For some of us it’s been like a bad dream. For others it’s like getting a new Ferrari full of skittles every Sunday. Either way, time is quickly running out to ‘make a move’…

Festivus Miracles (106) def Gnomes (95)

This season the Miracles have been the gift that keep on giving – giving out PAIN. This week was no different, with Fat Cat Matt Ryan (297 yards, 3 TDs) belting out showtunes on the fence without a care in the world. The Gnomes threw as many shoes as they could, but not even Tom Dude Looks Like A Brady (330 yards, 4 TDs) could connect with a clean hit. The league is looking more and more for a ‘December Surprise’ as their only chance against this domination…

Not Lucky or Good (144) def Auto Draft Kings (68)

Even with a goose-egg on the menu, the Luckies made out like a jovial waiter as they casually served up the Auto Drafters’ head on a platter. The dish was carried by the ever casual Aaron The Artful Dodger Rodgers (306 yards, 4 TDs, 2-PNT) who managed to put his personal painful loss aside to at least help his fantasy team win. The Auto Draft Kings might have appreciated the graceful delivery of their meal more if it hadn’t been their own severed head. It’s unclear if they can Frankenstein their way out of this one…

Schadenfreude (97) def El Sereno Chica (77)

The feeling of schadenfreude (joy at the suffering of others) felt by the Schadenfreude this week was off the charts. I’m talking Elvis Presley ‘Blue Schadenfreude Shoes’ off the charts, with Andrew Dalton Gang (305 yards, 2 TDs, FUM, INT) showing that he CAN catch a rabbit. The Chica’s woeful season continues and they are fast finding themselves in a sadly competitive race for the worst team in the league. Not even Derek Take Me Driving In Your Car Carr (526 yards, 4 TDs, FUM) could lift their spirits.

Northern Aggression (136) def Platypus Power (97)

The Aggressors went north to Alaska, going north coz the rush was on, with two RBs scoring over 20 points… but it was actually Carson Sugar Mama Palmer (363 yards, 3 TDs, INT, FUM) who bankrolled the whole venture. They were, however, kept warm on their journey by the Platypus pelt hats they wore like some kind of Crocodile Dundee Crockett fella. The Platypusses ability to encourage and improve others is becoming legendary, as they slowly build a lead in the Points Against category.

Week 9 beckons, and I can’t help but see her holding a shiny boning knife. Again.


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