Well, obviously another week taught me nothing. Here’s the back-to-back barely-kinda-not-really-on-time write-up…
Festivus Miracles (123) def Northern Aggression (103)
Wow, so this is what a TEAM effort looks like. A bit like Animal House, no Miracle player managed to escape their teens, though Spencer “B” Ware (131 yards, TD) did get rather close. The Aggressors gambled big on Cat on a Matt Forte (154 yards, 2 TDs, FUM) but the rest of the team basically choked on a furball. After 7 weeks, the Miracles have amassed 150 points more than anyone else – it’s going to be tough to take them down.
Not Lucky or Good (113) def Gnomes (107)
The Not Luckies continue to take the sarcastic use of their name to the outer limits of decorum as they carefully wrote out their own destiny with bold letters and a LeGarrett Blount Pencil (134 yards, 2 TDs). The Gnomes were in with a huge chance this week but their stubby little arms just couldn’t reach high enough, not even while they were standing on the shoulders of Melvin ‘Commissioner’ Gordon (121 yards, 3 TDs). The Gnomes are not Batman, though the Luckies could be the Joker…
El Sereno Chica (108) def Auto Draft Kings (79)
The Chica Chicas went boom boom this week, bouncing the increasingly hapless Auto Drafters out of the park with a series of dance moves that ended with a T.Y. Not-Relation-To-Paris Hilton (133 yards, TD) double spin. The Auto Drafters continued their tradition of NOT putting their best QB into the game, but it was pretty clear that not even a Tuesday morning mulligan could have helped them this week.
Two Off the Top (120) def Platypus Power (86)
When you get dealt a 6 of hearts and a 9 of clubs, you might think ‘fold’. But then the Two off the Top come in as another two 9’s and suddenly you’re sitting pretty with a jaywalking Jay Ajayi (216 yards, TD) thumbing his nose at the crossing guard. It helps, of course, if you’re playing a lame duck-billed platypus with a bum leg, half an eye, and their best two players on the bench.
Week 8 has already started. Let’s see how this one turns out…