Week 11

Thought I’d give JIT blogging another shot.

Deflated Expectations (119) def Cascade of Pushing (84)

Oh, the humanity! Much like a deflating dirigible spewing flammable gases over a hapless and helpless foe, the Expectations used Arson Carson Palmer (316 yards, 4 TDs, INT) to turn the Cascaders into a sad footnote in history. The Cascader’s top scorer earned a mere 11.9 points (Demaryius Thoms, 59 yards, TD), proving beyond doubt that when mankind gets too clever thing can go deeply awry.

Not Lucky or Good (119) def Da Gnomes (80)

Ask not what you can do for your Newton, but what your Newton can do for you. Certainly that was the Luckies motto this week as Wham Bam Thank You Cam Newton (262 yards, 5 TDs) stepped up in the pocket showed he can be a lover AND a fighter. Not even the wonder boot of Mason Bing! Crosby (5 long FGs, PAT), and his dreaming of a white crossbeam, could fight it, leaving the Gnomes yearning for simpler days when men wore onesy bathing suits and coifed their hair.

Northern Aggression (111) def Sultans of Suck (94)

Rawlin’, rawlin’, rawlin’, though the streams are swollen, keeping them doggies moving, Rawhide! Yes, Thomas Rawls (255 yards, 2 TDs) fully captured the spirit of flogging large tasty animals down a dusty trail this week, the Aggressors were pleased, and there was much rejoicing (and steaks) to be had. The Sultans fared less well. They nibbled on dates by a palm tree, shook the sand out of their undies, but even DeAndre De-Sanding Hopkins (118 yards, 2 TDs) had to admit they were outclassed by leather vests and high-heeled boots this week.

Killer Koalas (88.1) def  El Sereno Chica (87.6)

Come fly with me, come fly, come fly away. Five yards is about as far as most 11 year boys (and Matty Fatty Stafford – 313 yards, TD) can spit, and that’s precisely the distance by which the Koalas closed the deal on this one. The Chicas gave it a real good shot through Doug Aston Martin (235 yards), but the goose-egg from Ryan Mathews – due to his inability to get spit separation from his lower lip (out; concussed) – was costly.

Week 11 done. Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!


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