Holy smokes, Batman. What a setup for the Final Round! First of all, the valiant gladiator fight-to-the-death between the Gnomes and the Won’n’Dones – a true testament to everything fantasy football should be, with the game decided by less than 12 yards of rushing. And second, true to the way they’ve won all season, the Koalas don’t do anything special and rely heavily on the fumblings and mumblings of their opponent. Truly a proper representation of the season!
Da Gnomes 198.0 vs Won and Done 196.9
Da Gnomes laid not one, but TWO goose-eggs in this match-up straight from the highlight reel -> the Giants D (and O, for that matter) imploded on the weekend, and a Tight End was concussed. But the mighty, tiny men from the Town of Nittany fought on bravely, biting ankles and knees with an abandon that would make the mightiest Viking toddler proud. With three Gnomes in the 20’s, including a monster week for Adrian’s Wall Peterson (212 yards, TD), these little fellas refused to be ground into the dust. As for the valiant Won’n’Dones, the MNF experience must have been excruciating, as they came within a bee’s willy of pulling off the win. Out of respect for the fallen, we won’t talk about the several opportunities for victory sitting on the Done bench, but instead focus on the wonderful fantasy work of Mr Thomas Q Brady (454 yards, 2 TDs, 2 INTs)… who also lost this week.
Killer Koalas 187 vs Giallorossi 155
There’s an old joke about two photographers in Africa, watching a hungry lion growl and prowl towards them. One of them kneels down and takes off his boots and slips on a pair of Nikes. The second photographer says “You’ll never out-run a lion in those”. The first photographer replies “Bugger the lion, I only have to out-run you!” Words to (literally) live by, and words used by the Koalas – and a resurgent Aaron “McClaren” Rodgers (304 yards, 3 TDs) – to claw their way into the final. As for the Italians, it’s been a tough season for the south of Europe. It’s not clear exactly what went wrong but, with the possible exception of James “Not Earl” Jones (60 yards, 3 TDs), it’s pretty clear that this team of preened, well-dressed men are lovers and not fighters.
Next week, the finale. If you buy into the desire that the cosmos should be a just and fair place, you should sleep well this week -> the league’s Number One will play the league’s Number Two. Who brought their Nikes?