OK, no real excuse for incredibly tardiness in the week 4 report other than “code freeze week”, the rugby world cup, and a premonition about Al Davis.
#1: The Geckos rip the still-beating heart out of the Queues and scream something about being reptilian overlords and we should all just watch where we step from now on. Aaron Rodgers (444 yards, 6 TDs, INT) still has fresh blood on his chin three days later. [The Geckos 127, Queues Likely 99]
#2: Survey results: 99 out of 100 Americans under the age of 12 prefer AMac’N’Cheese over an empty plate that’s meant to hold free-range duck. The AMac’s saucy defence – Jets (2 TD, INT, 2 FUM, 2 SACK) – was just too much for the Duck Boats. [The AMac 99, Get the Duck Boats Ready 79]
#3: The Italians bottle Da Fury up and put them in the cellar to ferment for a couple of years. Giallorossi’s Matt Forte (228 yards, TD) led the charge, while the Furies’ balance, blend, body and bouquet was sadly lacking. [Giallorossi 89, Da Fury 58]
#4: Nothing annoys a true-code-football (read “soccer”) fan more than ants climbing all over his meat pie, hotdog, or pretzel (country-dependant), but the harsh fact remains that you simply cannot get the little buggers off. The Ants, and Michael AfterBurner Turner (88 yards, 2 TDs), were too tenacious for the Celtics this week. [Ants Marching 90, Portland Celtic FC 80]
#5: Rockabilly Rebels like to keep a rockin’ everywhere they go, and they certainly don’t stop when a bearded Festivus Santa gets in the way. Proof positive was how Plymouth’s – and Tom Brady’s (225 yards, TD) – rather modest score was more than enough to win the matchup. [Plymouth Rocks 72, Festivus Miracles 66]
#6: The beauty about Clubhouse Cancers is that they are most effective when a whole sreies of them get together and, little by little, just eke away at a problem (like, say, team camraderie, club unity, and Saints saints). With many small contributors – like Jordy Nelson (91 yards, TD) – they simply pecked the Saints into submission. [Clubhouse Cancers 86, Saints saints 74]
#7: The Gnomes, on the other hand, prefer to stand on the backs of one or two giants – not only is the view better, they also get to stomp on things with hob-nailed boots. The Ravens D (32 points) and Vick (29 points) was pretty much all they needed to turn Big Neon Glitter into Small Shards Of Glass. [Nittany Gnomes 101, Big Neon Glitter 84]
#8: In the battle of the crappiest QB’s of the week (Cutler’s plus-2 versus Sanchez’s minus-4), it was perhaps fitting that JR should get his first Gold Star of the season by slicing and dicing a very, very pale blue-ringed octopus. The All Stars might consider changing their name to the more definitive “Couple Of Stars” or maybe even “Arian Foster Inc” (166 yards TD), but no-one can deny them the win. Dammit. [JR All Stars 82, Blue-Ringed Ockies 60]
Team of the week: The Geckos (127)
Unoffical Team Motto: They can take away our tails, but they can never take away our FREEEEEDOOOM.