The Finals – RESULTS (spoiler alert)

Being overseas during Finals time is both good and bad…

The bad is that you don’t get to look at your team, make adjustments for season-ending injuries, and do any of that fine-tuning work that consumes so much of your life during the fantasy football season.

The good is that you don’t have to see your team get whupped from one end of the field to the other. It’s more like having 14 shots of tequila right before ripping off a bandaid – there’s a vague feeling that pain was registered somewhere on your body, but the numbing sensation that’s quickly spreading out to your fingertips suggests that it’s all going to be OK.

So, with a well-timed run of miraculous proportions, it’s clear that we must all bow down before the magestic Festivus Miracles for the second year in a row. And, after dominating all season, there’s not much argument against this result.  Feel free to search his trash can for used sports towels and fantasy cheatsheets as memorabilia, and to praise his giant football brain whenever you should be blessed with its appearance. Festivus, thou art Football.

In second place, after winning 8 in a row to make the finals, (plus a crushing 9th victory to get into the Grand Final), is the not-quite-good-enough King Louie’s Troops. What a run they had, swinging through the league with the greatest of ease, only to slip off on the very last vine. Word has it that next year they’ll be holding off on the bikini wax right before the Final – King Louie reportedly said that while the experience was indeed “liberating”, the excrucating pain was somewhat distracting for his team selection.

Third place went to the Ants, a true workhorse in fantasy football. 28 players were tested and found wanting for this team, with the unrelenting demand placed on the players bringing out the very best that they could be. Sure, the very best they could be was only 3rd, but at least they weren’t in…

…fourth place with the Jellies. Not much to say – they threw everything they had into the semi-final and simply could not recover from the beat-down, knock-down, shake-down, boogie-down inflicted by the hairy ape and his Troops.

The Finals went thusly:

The Finals...

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