Round 11

Another weekend away for yours truly, this time in beautiful (wet) San Francisco, where I managed to get to see my first live NFL game – 49-ers vs Buccs.  T’was fantastic, with the only downer being the 21-zip scoreline against the home-team. Yes, the crowd were unhappy, especially given this was their first shut-out at home since 1977.

So, again, an abbreviated write-up this round. There were some CLOSE ones this week…

The Ant Hill Mob (116) managed to sneak their machine guns through security and send Festivus Miracles (112) to an early unmarked grave this week.  Word on the street was the Miracles never saw the double-30’s coming their way -> the Ants’ riding Green Bay’s Greg “I’ll catch’em” Jennings (152 yards, 3 TDs) and Aaaron “I’ll throw ‘em” Rodgers (322 yards, 4TDs) all the way to the well-timed win.  For their part, the Miracles did have Ben “black eye” Roethlisberger (330 yards, 4 TDs) above 30 points as well, but you just can’t fight the tommy gun.  

Giallorossi (141), long since believed cursed beyond salvation, ripped out a score for the ages and finally lifted themselves out of bottom spot.  Key contributors were Drew “stiff southerly” Brees (382 yards, 4 TDs, 2 INTs) and Fred “show me some” Jacksons (129 yards, 2 TDs).  In the firing line for this break-out week were the Salamanders (99)… Sure, they were proud of Peyton “damn you Brady” Manning (396 yards, 4 TDs, 3 INTs) and Maurice “never ever pass” Jones-Drew (220 yards, TD, FUM, INT), but the zero points from high-ankle sprain Mike Sims-the-ghost-who-Walkers proved costly…

We haven’t seen a streak as good as the 5-gamer King Louie’s Troops (98) is on since Super Bowl XXXVIII.  Much like the resurgent Michael Vick (292 yards, TD, 2-PNT, FUM), this is a team who has found some pride, some ability, and some good old fashioned luck hiding deep down in the nether regions of their sweaty, torn jockstrap. Meanwhile, the Cover Jinxes (92) take a very loose pinky-finger hold on the most-points-against scoreboard, and that’s about it. Top scorer was Dwayne “insane” Bowe (109 yards, 2 TDs), but have to live with the pain of knowing that either a QB switch, or a DEF switch, or a K switch would have won it… Nasty.  

The battle of the week, nay the battle of the season, was between the smallest and the trompiest.  An epic battle where the Gnomes of Nittany (82.28) took out the Tromps of de Le (82.22) by a mere 0.06 points.  That’s less than 1 yard of rushing… But a win is a win, and Cedric “the entertainer” Benson (126 yards, TD) was a key deliverer for the little fellas. Meanwhile, (and despite the best efforts of Philip Rivers – 239 yards, 4 TDs, INT) the Tromps fall to last place, tied with the Covers and the Italians at 3-and-8.  Oh, and Pierre Thomas played his SEVENTH zero-pointer…

From the closest game of the week, to the most dominant.  The Box Jellyfishers (124) experimented with a set of middle-sized tentacles-of-death this week (7 of 9 players came in with double-digits) – special thanks to Santonio Holmes (126 yards, 2 TDs) – and they dined on sweet, smoky bacon for dinner. The Swine Flu (65), meanwhile, continue in their attempts to mutate into a better, more lethal force.  But not this round.  Perhaps BenJarvus “hyphen overload” Green-Ellis (100 yards, TD) can help more next week…

Round 12 starts tonight!


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