Finals – Round 1

First, the Snuggle Bowl results:

Giallorossi unleashes a world of hurt on the punchdrunk Thunderballs (135 v 86)

–          Giallorossi had a woeful season of poorly timed matchups. Then, near the death bell, they sneak in a few wins, finish 8th, and celebrate by getting the biggest score of the round and absolutely smashing the 5th placed Thunderballs in the finals.  They’re going to be riding Big Ben (503 yards, 3 TDs) all the way to 5th, baby.

–          Thunderball’s luck deserted him about 4 weeks ago – cause unknown.  His free-fall, from being just one win away locking down a spot in the top 4, continues at a momentous pace.  MVP-bound Peyton Manning (308 yards, 4 TDs, INT) can only watch in shame, and attempt to play whack-a-mole on Sean’s noggin.

Da Fury win with two players tied behind their back. Sophomores simply suck eggs. (91 v 49)

–          Could Da Fury have been in league with Minor Premiership holder, the Miracles? Certainly they dodged a bullet by playing the Sophomores instead of the Italian Scallions.  Regardless, it all works out in the wash, and Vincent “Van Doh” Jackson (108 yards, 2 TD) will be needed again next week.  It might also help if Nate Burleson and Zach Miller actually got on the field.

–          The Sophomores have made a mockery of both the Tromps and the Lemmings with this shameful result.  Oprah Winfrey’s manicurist (Trevor from Cleveland) could have outscored them.  ONE player in double digits in the finals is inexcusable and, while giving hope to Thunder for 7th SOUNDS like a nice idea, it’s not very competitive and I’m pretty sure it breaks at least 4 or 5 “spirit of the game” rules…

And for the Main Event:

Noooooo! Dream matchup destroyed, as the Squad take apart GotaBeatLarry (121 v 95)

–          The Practice Squad are selfish, winners nearly always are. There’ll be no dream matchup of team names next week, dammit….

–          Still, this was a well-timed dominating performance by the Squad (aka “the team-that-was-king-for-a-day”) with ALL THEIR PLAYERS (except some loser kicker from New Orleans) getting into double-digits.  A great score, but still behind the Miracles – can Larry be denied the championship AGAIN?

–          The GotaBeatLarry’s didn’t.  Didn’t beat Larry in the standings (despite chances). Didn’t beat Larry in the regular season (despite a near gimme). And didn’t get to face them again in the finals. Now playing for 3rd, you can’t help but wonder how they can face themselves in the mirror in the morning, given their complete failure to meet well-stated goals. My only advice is that jumping off cliffs (over and over) doesn’t help.

The Miracles make it through to back-to-back Finals, as the Gnomes (yes, it’s coming) fall short (130 v 63)

–          The Miracles are back, a long-sought after win (that didn’t need three days of recounts and pregnant chads) launches them into their second consecutive title bid.  Of course, Aaron “still lost” Rodgers (405 yards, 4 TDs, 2-PT) helped out a lot, and The Miracles go into the final round as the favorite once again.  Larry has long coveted this title, one still absent from his otherwise very impressive mantle, so we all know he’s sleeping a little more anxiously this week.  Is Santa coming to town for Larry…?

–          The Gnomes didn’t even put up a fight. Could it be due to their manager being preoccupied by installing between 300 and 400 CR’s in the past 8 days, or was it simply ineptitude? The 17-point swing in possible TE player choice (from injured-toe Shockey to multiple-TD Heap) certainly suggests a singular lack of focus from the otherwise momentous-football brain of the Gnomes.

–          The GotaBeats, for one, are now hoping that the Gnomes continue this way – another poor performance like this will assure the LarryHunters of 3rd place, thereby setting up the possibility that Larry could fall to 2nd and allow the GotaBeatLarry’s to reach upwards and say “I almost did it, momma.”

Finals continue over the next week.  The Tromps and the Lemmings continue to enjoy the view.

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