Semi-final madness was done a few days ago – my apologies for the delay in reporting the results. On occasion, even the commish can be distracted from football due to other “life lessons” one must endure – such as generating enough smoke and mirrors to keep oneself employed for another month or two.
But I digress. Results:
Gogoplata goes rope-a-dope as Giallorossi rumbles him in the jungle (79 v 75)
- First of all, what are these two finalists doing – getting 2 of the bottom 3 scores IN THE SEMI-FINAL? Surely the time for gamesmanship is over…? I mean, it worked for Ali against Foreman back in the day – take the pounding early as a ploy – but he came back to win the fight at the end. I think you guys need to follow the plan all the way through to be effective.
- First, Giallorossi. Sure, he got the third worst score of the week, but he pulled out the win. Thanks must go to Tony “nimble fingers” Romo (244 yards, 2 TDs) and Thomas “the tank engine” Jones (82 yards, TD). As to his management techniques, he was fairly reasonable, EXCEPT for a curious lack of faith in the Cowboys defense. You’d think a rabid ten-gallon hat wearer would back his team a bit more, especially given they were all fired up to annihilate the evil Giants from New York. Still, a win is a win, and on to the final he goes…
- Now, the Go Go Girls. They’ve had a good season, used their skirts in a flirtatious and effective manner, but this week has proven that maybe, just maybe, they were only there to get a good look at all the athletic butts in tight pants. In my countless years (4) as a football commentator, this is first time I’ve seen a bench where there were three management opportunities to win – and they were all blown. Switch out Cassell for Matt Ryan, you win. Switch out Pierre Thomas for Marshawn Lynch, you win. Switch out Marques Colston for ANY of your WRs (including, for example, the injured, unknown, and reportedly ugly Mark Bradley from Kansas City) and… you… win. Sigh, I can only imagine the pain – nay, the FIRE – burning through Kent at the moment. (In an unrelated note, word on the street is that Kent brought all this frustration out on the foos table recently and “taught Dougy some manners out here in the real world”).
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas – Festivus unwraps Da Fury (99 v 50)
- This game was a complete whitewash. A whupping. Something nasty on your shoe from a walk in the park. The more suspicious minded might even think that the fix was in.
- Festivus Miracles has the look of a great champion this season. He scores well under pressure and (frankly) his team just looks really, really good. I started dissecting his bench management skills and his team is top-notch all the way through. I’m beginning to think of him as last season’s New England Patriots (and we know how THAT turned out). For this week’s crushing, humbling, soul-destroying win over the hapless, helpless, heartless Furies, Larry can particularly thank Andre “the giant” Johnson (207 yards, TD). Before we admire the manager too much, it worth noting that Larry was probably in the position that it was IMPOSSIBLE to configure his team to lose this week.
- Da Fury, what can you say? He turns up in the finals with the lowest score of the week. The lowest score by 25 points. I know Nate passed Math 101 at uni, so it’s curious (purely on an intellectual level) what on earth he was doing this week – I mean, we’re not playing golf. A review of the team shows that there were a few points left on the bench, but not a whole lot. This is just conjecture now, but I suspect right now Da Fury’s locker room has a lot of players taking a good hard look at themselves in the mirror… and seeing inevitable defeat for the forseeable future. Maybe he can pull off the upset for 3rd place, but let’s just say that the bookies are having a hard time taking a bet on him.
Thanks to all, and good luck to Larry, and Doug in the GRAND FINAL. My Australian nature requires me to go for the underdog, and the joy of calling Larry “the Patriots of ‘08” is simply irresistible, so c’mon Dougy, you bronco-riding, pistol-whippun’, claim-jumping cowboy.
PS: The bottom 3 scores this week were from our finalists. I think this proves beyond reasonable doubt that the universe is a cruel and unusual place. And that it really LIKES it when the mighty come crashing back to earth.