Round 10 is complete. We’re into the home stretch…
Na-na-na-na-nahhhh, OTGS’s get… Thunderstruck (122 v 102)
- OK, the headline only makes sense if you’re familiar with ‘Thunderstruck’ by AC/DC, but given both combatants are Aussies, I figured I could get away with it.
- Thunder is on a roll, heading up the charts after spending the first half of the season lollygagging, ginning about, and (gasp) loitering with intent. With 3 guys in the 20’s, special mention stays with Maurice Sean-Jones-Drew-A-House (91 yards, 3 TDs) and Tony “Gonzo the Great” Gonzalez (113 yards, 2 TDs).
- The rodents of unusual size, sorry, I mean the out-to-get-shep’s were unlucky to find Jones in such hot form. Better to be lucky than good, and this wasn’t Burgy’s week. Top dog was Adrian “son of a peter” Peterson, whose 225 total yards and TD is being hailed as the one and only reason why the Vikings won. Unfortunately, Adrian couldn’t also carry the rodents, sorry, I mean the get-sheps, home.
Gogo Girls intimidate the Rookies, sending them home without a phone number (83 v 80)
- Gogoplata, with no-one left to play last night, presented a reasonably attractive total to overcome. Matt Ryan, the Atlanta QB from the depths of nowhere, provided about a quarter of the total score with 248 passing yards and 2 TDs, but, with a grand total in the low 80’s, you’d certainly have to say that the GoGo’s score was NOT well covered in a tasteful muumuu.
- The Rookies, attracted by the short skirts and flirtatious looks, summoned their courage to go ask for a phone number. With Fitzgerald playing MNF (and getting a TD early), hopes must have been sky high. But courage failed and the Rookies are now in a 5-game losing streak. Hope remains for next week especially with Eddie Royal’s continued defiance of the WR pecking order, gaining 164 yards and a TD on the weekend.
Giallorossi bottles the rage, takes it down with some chianti and fava beans (123 v 56)
- With the top score of the week, Giallorossi goes Hannibal on Da Fury, with 3 players above 20 and 3 more players above 10. Special mention must go to everything Jets – RB Thomas the tank engine Jones (149 yards, 3 TDs) and the Jets DEF (2 sacks, 2 INTs, 3 FUMs and a TD).
- Da Fury is in danger of sliding down the table – he had another low scoring week, but without the benefit of their opponent doing their nails. Their only player in double digits was yet another Jet – Brett Favre (167 yards, TD) – and then, well, kind of empty space. Curiously, the bench RB pair of Jamal Lewis and Chester Taylor outscored the on-field RB pair of Westbrook and LenDale White by about 18 points. Not enough to change the outcome, but perhaps an indication of some of the tough coaching decisions required to win at this level.
Festivus Miracles Costanza (can’t stand to) lose, pulling a rabbit out of Notgonnabelast’s nether regions (100 v 93)
- Festive Miracles desire to win knows no satiety, as he heads into MNF with a big deficit and then has Kurt I-Warnered-You play an incredible game (328 yards, 3 TDs) and drag him over the still and lifeless carcass of the luckless JR. Mewelde Moore also provided able assistance – 115 total yards, 2 TDs.
- Poor old Notgonnabelast may be wondering who he’s ticked off in the Football Gods community – a great score and a nice lead into MNF turned sour. His two stars – Drew Brees (422 yards, 2 TDs, 3 INTs) and Brandon Jacobs (126 yards, 2 TDs, FUM) – can only lament their errors, as these negative vibes like totally brought the team down, man.
Nittany Gnomes use a RPG to take out the May Fly (aka the Lifters) (110 v 41)
- Never before in the field of human conflict has so much unnecessary force been used to smite one so pathetic. The Gnomes bring three guys in the 20’s to a party where one would have been enough. The highest score honors go to Donovan McNabb, whose team still managed to lose to (IMHO) a fairly ordinary Giants team, despite his 229 total yards, 3 TDs and INT. Westbrook’s tiny 5’3”, 120-pound frame simply isn’t meant to rush up the guts at 4th-and-1. Just an opinion…
- The Heavy Lifters are wearing orange suits today. Yep, they’ve been indicted on several counts of murdering the wonderful game of fantasy football, and one literal count of murder (Jake Delhomme). Of course, the Lifters are going to get off on the Delhomme charge, because what jury in the land would convict a man of ripping the lungs out of a QB who played an entire game and came away with 72 yards, a TD and 4 INTs? None, none I tells ya….
Thanks to all. May all your teams gain a sudden and unholy interest in macramé.