Tuesday morning review and, bugger, the breaking news story of the day has already been scooped from another time zone. Gogo’s restraint in whooping up the unlikely victory is commendable, but probably also wise given that the third-lowest score of the week still gets him the capital W.
Gogo’s find a silver dollar in the sand as Out to get Shep completely bollocks it up (73 v 72)
- Yes, the Go-Go Girls made news by NOT sleeping with a QB on the weekend, but luckily Marion “Cunningham” Barber (173 total yards, TD) came through. Gogoplata got all the points they needed…
- Out to get Shep was like a tale of two teams – Reggie Wayne is back in the saddle (188 yards, TD) in the best of times, but then Burgo follows it up with the worst of times -> a minus-1 NYG defense, PLUS a further minus-2 points from RB “and his name shall be” Le’Ron McClain. Switch out McClain for Priest Holmes, and he wins. I’ve always said that the Chief’s RBs are grossly underestimated – especially the retired ones.
Festivus hogs all the egg-nog as Giallorossi goes hungry (116 v 102)
- Festivus Miracles is the top dog. The big kahuna. The one most likely to do something that is not nothing. Another BIG score by the big man in the red suit, with top-scoring honors hoing to Andre “the giant” Johnson (178 yards, TD). With 6-from-9 in double figures, this is a team with a big bow on it.
- Giallorossi, just one of three to break 100 points this week, could consider himself unlucky. Top scorer was Tony Romo (321 yards, 3 TDs, FUM), which would normally make Douglas happy, EXCEPT for the poor old Dallas Cowboys having a blocked punt in overtime cost them the game. Oh, and the minor issue that Romo broke his pinkie finger cleaning out his earpiece in the first play of OT (and is now out for 4 weeks) could also be a factor…
Fury very gently puts the Gnomes to the butter knife (76 v 72)
- Using absolute minimum effort (albeit, not quite to the extent as Gogoplata), the Fury gets all they need to get to win the matchup. Top scorer was Marvin Harrison (83 yards, 2 TDs), proving that he is not dead yet, and neither are the Colts.
- The Gnomes did all they can, using their tried-and-true technique of wringing the most out of the most unlikely players. This week it was Vincent “still got my ear” Jackson, the San Diego WR gaining 134 yards and a TD. Still, the Gnomes simply didn’t stack up this week.
The chips finally fall for Thunder as NotGonnaBeLast languishes in the nether regions of the scores (112 v 73)
- Thunder gets his first win of the season, with the second-highest score of the week, with very impressive performances from Philip Rivers (306 yards, 3 TDs) and Maurice Jones-Drew (148 total yards, 2 TDs). Could this be a case of releasing the beast?
- NotGonnabeLast, like several others, scored in the low 70’s this week. Unfortunately, they simply didn’t have the same luck / planning / foresight as the GoGo’s and they fall hard. At least he can feel good about Drew Brees’ thumping of Oakland (320 yards, 3 TDs).
Heavy Lifters break the shackles of shame, pull roof in on the Rookies (86 v 75)
- The Heavy Lifters win one! Yes, looks like Wayne’s 0-and-7 record will live on to another season, as the last of the undefeated teams gets a win. Leading the charge out of the mud-pit full of vipers, salamanders and excrement was Clinton Portis (129 yards, 2 TDs). Love that guy.
- It just wasn’t meant to be for the Rookies this week and I, for one, think he did a fine job and we should all applaud him for giving it such a nice try. (Forgive me if my first in 6 weeks leads to some minor gloating). Top scorer was Reggie Bush (67 yards, 2 TDs), who also happened to become the fastest RB in history to get 200 catches, and TIE the WR record for the same mark. Nice work Reggie.
Thanks to all. May all your teams (continue to) wither and die.