2008 Season – Week 5

Week 5 coincides with M2 review, so trimmed version this week.

Thunderball shakes the Rookie’s to their core (83 v 70)

  • Thunderball is on track for his first win, with unheralded “I’ve got a large” Roddy White (132 yards, TD) leading the way.
  • Rookies brought in their number 2 QB – Eli Manning – who had a splendiforous game (267 yards, 2 TDs, rating of 137), but not enough team support to get into the lead.
  • The Rookies still have hope, with Reggie “worth two in the“ Bush playing tonight.

Gnomes are almost as tall as expected, but Go Go Girls struggle through bulimia (87 v 48)

  • The Gnomes scored 0.17 points less than expected, meaning someone at Yahoo is a genius. Top scorer was Chicago D – 18 points. Something to be scared of – Larry Johnson’s total of 2 yards from 7 carries…
  • Gogoplata? Well, he’s currently holding the lowest score this week, and his unbeaten status is as under pressure as so much unwanted triple-decker fudge cake.  Garrard (200 pass yards, TD) and Jennings (87 yards, TD) are the providers thus far.
  • Gogo has a WR, K and DEF playing tonight, so hope looms for an intervention. Can he keep his food down?

Giallorossi places head on block as Notgonnabelast shines up the axe (106 v 100)

  • Giallorossi takes the lead into Monday morning, thanks to the mixed efforts of Romo (176 yards, 3 TDs, INT) and others.
  • But Notgonnabelast is right behind, due in no small part to Brandon “Jacobs Ladder” (136 yards, 2 TDs).
  • Heading into MNF, JR has named his axe “the big Brees-and-Meachem chopper of doom”, which is a rather early morning way of saying he’s got a QB and a WR left to play…

 

Festivus flies his sleigh all over Out to Get Shep’s still and lifeless body (108 v 59)

  • Festivus is all set to remain undefeated, with 5 players in double figures. Top dawg was Kurt “I get knocked down but I get up again, you ain’t ever gonna keep me down” Warner (250 yards, 2 TDs). Yes, Kurt Warner sings, and he drinks a whiskey drink and a cider drink.
  • Out to Get Shep is simply biding his time for the next time he plays yours truly. Reggie Wayne (97 yards, TD) was the only ray of hope in a bleak time of reflection…
  • With Peterson playing tonight, Burgo’s score will improve. But winning is not on the calendar this week…

 

Da Fury gets the most from his guys as the Heavy Lifters prove they can’t catch (97 v 81)

  • Da Fury got well-beyond expected points from Big Ben (309 yards, 3 TDs, INT) and the Houshman (85 yards, 2 TDs), and is out to an unassailable lead.
  • The Heavy Lifters’ woes at WR continue – 8.4 points from 3 guys – though RB seems to be healthy, with Clinton Portis (158 total yards, TD) the highlight.
  • Everyone is done, and the HL’s fall to 0 and 5, chasing the dream of being worse that Wayne (whose 0-and-7 had always seemed untouchable)…

Thanks to all. May your teams all wither and die.

-Nathan.

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